Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[tempingainteasy]

You have reached the voice mail inbox of April. Please leave your name and number after the tone.

[for messages, texts, letters, 1v1s, whatever people use these for]

Not exhaustive, but a note to myself anyway:
Arthur Lester
John Crichton
Oswald Wuthridge
Oda Nobunaga
Skulduggery Pleasant
Erin Peters
Deputy Pratt
Flan ofc
Victor ig

Comments

Text, Shortly After Finding Ossie's Body

[crushed_pearls]

Hostile Giles chief suspect in murder of Ossie at Hurikane. Should be considered armed and dangerous. Please contact myself and Dimitri if you spot him. He has refused harmony with the ship and will be killed as many times as it takes.

[tempingainteasy]

Hey do you take constructive criticism? Because I can't think of a more terrifying thing to read rn than 'refused harmony with the ship and will be killed as many times as it takes', even if context is about a guy in a skinsuit murdering our mutual acquaintance in the guise of his lover.

Otherwise right on I'll keep you posted. 👍

[crushed_pearls]

You know what fair enough but keep in mind that I am ten feet away from my dead friend right now and the rage in me is fit to gut God and hang the world from his intestines. Thank you for your help April.

[tempingainteasy]

Fair enough for your fair enough. Good luck hunting him down.

Text, Afternoon November 1st

[crushed_pearls]

Still feel like I should apologize for forgetting this long but I guess this is how it goes. Finally got my ribs seen to. Lost track of you in the chaos like fucking immediately. How are you holding up? Are you hurt?

[tempingainteasy]

Hey, losing track of me means the system is working.
By that I mean I made myself stealth the second the chaos happened, so no one else noticed me either. I'm completely fine, the only damage came from the fall through the floor, but a few days in a sling and I'll be fine 👍👍

Still riding the adrenaline high otherwise, how are you?

[crushed_pearls]

Well. I lived. Given how good Ossie had it dying twice I am reconsidering living as an option the next time someone is selling dying but I lived. There are a lot of folks I need to help take care of right now so I will be busy the next few days but we should catch up when everyone can breathe. Weirdly enough despite the terror at the prospect I could use some karaoke.

Also had a shower thought to ask you but it is in no way urgent. Personal favor sort of question. Zero additional horrors.

[tempingainteasy]

Hey, congrats on surviving when everyone else was doing their best to kill or die last night! But yea jotting that down for when I next need to scream into a mic then.

[Personal favour? Colour them curious.]

Perhaps, depends on the question. Shoot?

Text, VERY late November

[crushed_pearls]

Well it only took half a month of nightly gossip sessions but I finally remembered I need to give you the news. Guessing game time. What is the two nickels situation created by the presence of my new roommate?

[tempingainteasy]

Oh christ Erin don't do this to me.

[April says, and yet:]

Ok well passing observation on some of the cap's other assignments:

1) Someone else steeped in the Fair World 2) someone else with a blindfold 3) someone diametrically opposite to you in beliefs, interests, personality, species, or all of the above.

[crushed_pearls]

Both are close in their own way. New roommate is Helena Adams. Ordinary mortal very polite and kind. Sharper than she lets off. Studies poetry and to cap it off she too is blind.

[tempingainteasy]

Oh, another one. That's like, three of you so far, right? Think that's enough for legal action if this ship isn't accommodating enough?

[April's takeaway from various HR contracts has been... Well, pick and choose, let's say.]

[yourexoduslaughing]

hey quick q when theyd make your drink at timms did it need to taste good or just TASTE?

[yourexoduslaughing]

[attached, a photo of Flan's attempt at April's usual. it looks like something you'd see in an asmr slime video]

im doing my best out here but my options are limited

1/2

[tempingainteasy]

[It's been a very long time since April got a text that could make them recoil in something akin to fear like this.]

Far be it from me to ruin the mystery of the unknown and the privacy of the ill-defined through description but what the fUCK do you mean by 'just TASTE'

[April is in the middle of typing up a follow up of 'anyway if it's early morning it has to be bitter enough to punch me right in the gums and peel tape' when the Concoction comes through]

Flan good lord what the fuck did you get your tiktok recipes crossed

2/2

[tempingainteasy]

I mean I genuinely appreciate the effort it's really nice of you and god knows it took a bit to train the ghosts before the ship staff downsized but i think you did too much of ... ... something. syrups i guess.

limited how?

[yourexoduslaughing]

i mean TASTE taste. like does it have a real flavour or am i making it just be a LOT all at once.

oh shit RIGHT ur from like months ago you missed out on WATERTOK oh my god april its hilarious theyre like making potions and shit just like 20 pumps of sugar free syrup and they call it water and everyone is livid is hilarious they make like pina colada water and its like what are you TALKING ABOUT its stranger water elliott loves it so much

anyway im limited to what the coffee shop has which is all american ass syrups and i miss the stuff we had at timms :( all the labels are only in english i feel like im being gaslit where is my FRENCH

[Another photo. Flan has now added more coffee to it and it's closer to black.]

it smells like sugary bitter death now. i bet if we give it to victor he'll swarm like crazy

At like 12:10

[theweakhavepurpose]

hey u dead?
What was the announcement?
is it being dead?

[No he doesn't know April's roomnumber nor remember their name. Yes he messaged "Throckmorton Detective" to every single cabin number til it didn't bounce back. ]

[tempingainteasy]

Thebfffucking
The FUcking announvrment was that if yiu go on the next excursuion you die and we'er getting more excusrisons than usual now

he said wishses arent free and heS SO RIGHT comrade genie get compensatedn!!! Never work for freeo r exposure!!

[theweakhavepurpose]

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
do we get anything cool when we die?
like stuffed prizes?

wait wishes?
we can wish for shit?
WHERES MY GODDAMN WATERSLIDE THEN?????????

[yourexoduslaughing]

omg my roommate is GONE does that mean i get the room to myself???

[tempingainteasy]

HELL YEAH it does! Congrats on having somewhere to bang where no one will run into you accidentally because they had to send a fucking fax!!

[yourexoduslaughing]

lmfao THANK YOU also that was ONCE and who even uses faxes anymore??

[yourexoduslaughing]

TURN ON THE TV TURN ON THE TV!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!

[blindwatchersees]

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<on a date after their initial interaction and after the "human Victor" incident>

The inbox is full of drinks. Drinks of every color, some of them hot, some of them cold, some of them on fire, some of them frozen. All of them contain a tiny umbrella. Each and every umbrella is, upon close examination, paperwork, filings of work done with the union and inquiries as to whether any back pay or restitution is due for Victor being dragged into an experiment without proper negotiations first.